Chaotic Boy Energy - Notes for a series which will never be made

[elisheva_m]

Chaotic Boy Energy - Notes for a series which will never be made

First review!!!: "The literary equivalent of shooting paint from water pistols at a camera lens and calling it art."

"An eccentric fork of chaos composed by someone who makes shit up."

Moving again but even more a work in progress. See rule 4.
Comments always welcome.

Probably time to let this go. Real life stresses made this impossible for a few weeks and with that distance, I see how poor much of this is. It was fun whilst I was immersed in it, and good for my mental health, and that was its only real purpose. Leaves a big hole but I can't find my way back.


Beginning is rather rocky right now as I'm trying to develop some things I've always struggled to write with any real detail. Current process is to build a scaffolding of relatively gentle, or at least tempered, chaos to work moments of friendship development and early flirting into. There's a lot to balance. Since I've started doing this I've realised that the original less-detailed writing of the beginning functioned a sort of on-ramp to ease an unsuspecting hypothetical reader into the commotion of the rest. So I'm trying to learn new ways of imagining and writing those ideas too. Trying to convey early not-yet-relationship-but-interested feelings and actions in a subtle way is tricky, far beyond both my life and writing skills.

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The characters and I are *still* in negotiations as to their names. It is proving to be an increasingly chaotic process. P'Nut is changing his to Zazen, his nong chaai Zhao Zen is still Zen unless he's Ohm, and Aon and Aof are still on strike. Until this is resolved, which may take some time given the fun they're having with it and their exceptional ability to sidetrack the process, I'll just use the names of the actors whose work originally inspired them. If you're familiar with these actors you'll be able to imagine in more detail than I can successfully write as well and it gives some of the feel of watching a series with the duality of known actors who've worked together before and the characters they're playing now.


When this started, it was just a scattering of things I'd imagine to cheer myself up when bedbound by chronic illness. The beginning point was Title (Drake Laedeke) and Jim Bae's (First Kanaphan) chaotic boy energy friendship in Blacklist. It was a lot of fun and I thought it would be grand to see more of it. Didn't care what kind of series it was, just as long as the lads were smiling and goofing off.

My brain one midnight: Vampires. Drake is a vampire.

How could anyone as chronically bored as I am just set that aside? From that the rest, mostly through collage-ing familiar things and asking questions, though Neo's character has a way of bursting into other people's scenes on his own. What's the setting? NOT a university. A boarding house maybe. Who else lives there? If First, then Khaotung. What's his story? How does he fit in? But no crying, every director makes Khaotung cry. What's happening now, what else is going on, how can we add more fun?

These are the rules:
You cannot undead Khaotung.
You cannot make Khaotung cry.
This is very important.

Drake is a vampire.

The rest is negotiable and subject to change.



This is the story so far.

Drake and First are best friends. They have a band called Chaotic Boy Energy. Drake often wears a t-shirt with their logo. Their philosophy of music does not involve practicing.

They live in Mrs Hong's boarding house. She has bright blue hair.

Khaotung is the newest resident. The story opens in the front hall of a large, old house. Khaotung has just come through the front door and is standing with two suitcases and a box, looking around and getting his bearings. In the foreground, Drake and First race across the hall, in through one door and out another, and then peer back into the hall, staring at Khaotung with heart eyes and delighted smiles.

Smitten with this quiet thoughtful stranger, they fall over themselves and each other to greet him and take his luggage upstairs.

In his room and somewhat baffled by their carrying on, Khaotung thanks them but declines further help in unpacking. "It's just a couple of bags. And a box of books."

Disappointed but considerate, First and Drake retreat to Drake's room, which is very much the room of a 243 year old teenage boy, with clothes, manga and three stuffed knitted chickens scattered around and aged, deteriorating Outlaw Wanted posters half covered over by football players, six decades of rock bands and a large hand written sign which declares "Life's too short to practice Louis". Or maybe that's on his second favourite t-shirt. Drake's character was turned at whatever age actor Drake is now but was still 18 at heart. Some 220 years later, he's as set in his ways as any old man so this isn't going to change.
 
Drake and First discover that they've both fallen for their new housemate. They're both willing, albeit with some reluctance, to step aside for the other, but they saw him at exactly the same time so they'd just trip over themselves if they tried to figure out who. In the end, their solution is as simple as it is kind. They agree to do their best to earn his affection and to respect whatever decision he makes, even if he says no to both of them. Khaotung has the agency here. This is the fifth rule.

Returning to their usual chaos, they proceed to empty a basket of clean folded clothes and chuck its contents at each other. They consider folding them again but decide health is more important and they must therefore resume chasing each other around the house instead. It's their favourite form of exercise, even more than mountain biking. Mrs Hong is adept at avoiding being run into. Others in the house aren't.

In his room, Khaotung is carefully arranging a small collection of books on the mostly empty bookshelf. A cat peers out cautiously from under the bed and comes to sit on one of the shelves, inspecting him. He listens to the clump clump clump of full grown feet running in the hall outside his room, followed by shouts of "Look out below" as the footsteps clatter down the stairs and around the rest of the house. He gives the cat an introductory scritch, saying "yes, it probably is safer in here Miao." A door bangs and the house is quiet. He begins unpacking a suitcase into the dresser drawers.

He's writing in his journal when the front door bangs again and he hears the pair coming up the stairs, laughing about something, or perhaps nothing in particular. They knock on his door. They fall over themselves and each other to hand him bags of snacks, explaining they didn't know his preference so they just got lots. But welcome to the family, dinner might be ready in an hour, oh he's met one of the cats, its name is Squirrel, and is chicken ok? They don't stop talking long enough for Khaotung to say more than a yes and a polite thank you before they and their happy smiles race off again.

Khaotung puts the bags on the desk, gives the cat another scritch, looks from the cat to the bags and back again, moves the snacks to the safety of a dresser drawer, closes his journal and carefully tucks it away on the bookshelf. He goes downstairs to the kitchen to see what he can do to help. He stops at the door, eyes wide. First and Drake are fencing with carrots, parrying blows with grand, dramatic gestures and dodging the chairs they put in each other's way as they skirt around the table. This is perhaps the reason for the vagueness of dinner time. Drake leaps over a chair and falls onto First's carrot, thrusting his own against his friend's chest. They stagger theatrically, finally noticing Khaotung at the door. First interrupts the grand death scene to ask if he'd like a carrot too so he can join in. Khaotung declines, somewhat confused but also amused by their antics. Drake uses the moment to improvise his way to the kitchen sink, where he grabs the water sprayer and directs it at First before clutching his chest and sinking to the ground, laughing triumphantly.

First springs back to life, grabs Drake's foot and drags him out the back door into the garden and to the hose. Khaotung looks out at them and then goes back into the kitchen to start preparing dinner. Those two are probably going to be awhile.


Slowly waking up on his first morning in his new home, a bleary-eyed Khaotung ventures into the kitchen in search of coffee. He's wearing an old faded t-shirt with a green raikantopeni logo on the front and is surprised to find his new friends wide awake, absurdly cheerful for any hour of the morning and wrapping each other in aluminum foil. Drake offers him the roll, which Khaotung declines. First's offer to make a lance for him is the closest thing they give for an explanation. They grab the pool noodles and scooter helmets sitting on the kitchen table and head out into the back garden.

Fortified by the coffee and very curious about the happy shouting going on, Khaotung steps out the back door to see the pair riding mountain bikes towards each other, pool noodles at the ready, the morning sun reflecting off their aluminum foil. He watches them make a few passes and hears the tinkling crunch of pool noodles against foil, then returns inside, convinced he's dreaming. Mrs Hong said a change would do him good. He's not ready for this. He is going back to bed.

With lunch time drawing near, Khaotung peers cautiously into the kitchen, wondering what will be going on this time. Mrs Hong is sat at the kitchen table with a cup of tea and a plate of biscuits, talking quietly with Drake. He has a small notebook with numbers written next to a scattering of dates and is the one eating the biscuits. The last entry is yesterday's followed by 4. Mrs Hong apologises for not being around to welcome him, there was something urgent she had to attend to. Oh yes, everything is alright now. How is he liking the house? Did the boys help him settle in? Drake tucks the notebook away in a drawer.

Mrs Hong starts to get up to see about something for lunch. Drake gently says no, they'll take care of it. He asks Khaotung to get First from his workshop in the back garden. It's the wooden shed in the left corner, can't miss it. Khaotung goes out. There's a good-sized cinder block structure on the right side, a smaller wooden one on the left and a drying line with colourful shorts and t-shirts fluttering in the breeze. He recognises Tigger, Animal from the Muppets playing drums, and the one that Drake was wearing yesterday with the words Chaotic Boy Energy splashed loudly across the chest. Yes, if yesterday and this morning are typical, that describes him well.

The door to the wood building is open. The sound of loud but slow thumps comes from inside. It's a pottery studio, with a potter's wheel near the centre of the room. First is raising a block of clay and thwacking it onto a sturdy table in the corner. Khaotung watches for a moment before interrupting, saying Drake wants him in the kitchen. First greets him cheerfully and says he'll be right there.

On his way out, Khaotung's eyes linger over a blue glazed mug on a shelf near the door. He turns to say something complimentary to First but is startled by another loud thump. He hurries back to the kitchen.

Inside the house, Drake's energy has been transferred to getting things out. There's a pile of vegetables on the counter, an electric grill on the table, rice in the cooker and a wok on the stove. Soon the four are sat around the table, enjoying the meal and each other's company.

Late that night, when Khaotung returns to his room after his shower, a simple gift box waits on the floor outside his door. It holds the blue glazed mug. He looks fondly at First's door down the hall, now closed for the night, and smiles.


The house is curiously quiet the next morning. Khaotung looks out into the back garden, wondering where the madmen he's living with might be. All he hears is the breeze. It seems a good day for laundry so he gets that started.

Mrs H - K interaction?

Khaotung has just started hanging his washing on the drying line when Drake emerges from First's workshop. He races over at his usual speed, intent on helping. Drake hangs up a shirt neatly. The next one he drapes over his head and stumbles around comically with hands outstretched, narrowly missing Khaotung, the pole for the drying line and the basket. He spins around and around faster and faster until he falls to the ground, laughing. He peeks out from under the shirt and grins at Khaotung and is very happy to see Khaotung laughing along with him. He does need help standing up again as the world has kept spinning faster than it normally does. He sits back down and hands clothes up to Khaotung until everything is on the line.

When they are finished, Khaotung asks him to wait there. He returns with some of the snacks they gave him earlier. Drake is laying on the ground talking to the clouds. He points out a dragon and an imp and tells Khaotung a long, involved story about their adventures and how they discovered the magic of dipping ginger sweets in a rare and precious substance called chocolate.


ADD DRAKE-KHAOTUNG INTERACTION SOMEWHERE AROUND HERE
notes - K saw D being calm and kind to Mrs H yesterday, can we pair chaotic and kind today?
ALSO MRS HONG - K helps her prepare lunch or dinner?
K wanting to do something nice for each of them
Don't forget the piles of snacks in his dresser drawer



Drake and First are in the upstairs hall with paint and brushes. They've written "The 10 Suggestions" boldly on one wall, with numbers 1-10 going down. First fills in their first Suggestion - "Question assumptions." Drake adds the second - "Ignore imperatives." They look at each other, scratch their heads and decide their work is done. When Khaotung happens upon their manifesto he reads it over, shrugs and nods..



Khaotung is wakened one morning by the sound of lumber being dropped accompanied by two Shiaaa!!!s. He opens his door to find Drake and First constructing a high platform between their rooms. They are very apologetic but Drake dreamed this during the night so it has to be done. It's so they can go from one room to the other without touching the hall floor. Khaotung asks why and they just shrug and say "Why not?" Khaotung does not have an answer so he goes back to bed.

On his second start to the day, Khaotung opens his door to a plate of small snacks, a note of apology from First for making noise too early and a promise to bring him coffee and breakfast in bed. He picks up the plate and goes back into his room for his phone.

Khaotung is sat on his bed reading when First knocks on his door with food and coffee. When he turns to leave, Khaotung invites him to stay and share the food with him. It's a good new beginning.


Later, note from Drake "Sorry about the noise so early. I'd promise not to do it again but I will break that promise so here are ear plugs. D x"


Various types of scenes to establish and develop characters and story:

First & Drake and Mrs Hong share cooking duties. First and Drake always cook together, with their typical exuberance, banter, pranks and mess but clean up after themselves with only somewhat diminished enthusiasm and just a couple of water fights. Mrs Hong chases them away when she's in charge but accepts Khaotung's help. There are hints that she knows some of his past and invited him to live there when he needed somewhere to stay.

They eat together, conveying a sense of found family, with separate dishes for vampires and mortals. It just is, with no attention called to it or what exactly these vampires eat. The emphasis is on their conversation and fondness for each other. Drake and First both endeavour to try to sit closer to Khaotung, and hopefully bump elbows or at least pass him things and offer him food. Mrs Hong observes all of this.

Khaotung keeps a journal. Through this we learn some of his thoughts about the friendly, lively, always entertaining madmen he's now living with. They're a bit much but he likes them.

He's nearly over a broken heart but isn't quite ready for a new love. There will be no flashbacks as the crying is in the past. This is the second rule. He can have a touch of melancholy at times, all the better to be cheered up by his housemates' antics. Chaos is a good antidote.

Whenever he settles down to write, their laughter and running about is heard in the background. He listens and smiles. Sometimes he hears their unique style of music instead. He prefers the running.

Drake and First are best friends and are never seen apart except when they ditch each other to flirt with Khaotung. Drake's approach riffs off of Korn's after he's gone from winding up Wai to fight him to winding up Wai to make friends. First channels Yok. Lots of smiles from both. That's the purpose of this imagining lark after all and directors aren't letting either of them smile anywhere enough any more.

The clutter of First's room indicates he's been here for a while. He always knows exactly where everything is, it just takes him a moment to find it when he wants it. Khaotung's room is sparse, just the furniture there when he moved in, some clothes and other things, and a bookcase with some but not enough books. Some are his diaries.

Drake reads manga. It's the only time he settles, albeit in an active, animated kind of way with exclamations and reactions. Sort of like playing a video game except with page turning.

With this being a boarding house, when a character is needed briefly they can be there to inquire about the room. Such a character stops by one day. Remainder deleted as it was too forced, from early days when i was struggling to try to flesh out a rather random set of "scenes". Two of the three things I wanted to convey are now done far better through the rest of the text. Leaving this here in hopes a new stranger stops by.

Mrs Hong's daughter Prigkhing appears in the front hall one day. She's brought strange pastries, a bouquet of unrecognisable flowers and a tin of tea which smells like the air after an electrical storm. She and Khaotung are startled to see each other but can't place why.  A delighted Drake hugs her, commandeers her gifts, hands them to First to take to the kitchen and sets off shouting MAAA she's here.

Khaotung finds their conversation difficult to follow, full of curious words everyone else seems to know. Or maybe First is just good at pretending he understands. The tea is oddly satisfying but the pastries are perhaps an acquired taste. He'll have to ask First later. Drake, who is sat in between them on the sofa, is intent on helping Khaotung acquire that taste today. In between tales of family, friends and potential foes, a keenly observant Prigkhing takes this in with delight and mischief in her eyes. Mrs Hong watches them all.

After their elevenses, when Mrs Hong has stepped out to take a mysterious phone call and Khaotung and First have taken the dishes to the kitchen for washing up, Prigkhing gleefully grabs Drake's arm and asks him about this new mortal. She's always happy to help things along of course. Their conversation is cut short when their mae returns but not Prigkhing's enthusiasm. She winks at Drake knowingly.

Drake and First have a bag of googly eyes in assorted sizes. They go around the house adding them to whatever takes their fancy. At dinner there are eyes on glasses, bowls, condiments and people. Drake has three on his forehead. Prigkhing, whom Drake has entreated to return for dinner, has two fashionably placed near her left eye and five on the orange First has given her. Mrs Hong's are on her nose. Khaotung wears a pair on each cheek. First's keep falling off and he sticks them back on wherever.

They are supposed to return the bag to props at the end of the episode. Instead googly eyes appear in unexpected places for the remainder of the series. The pair deny all responsibility and attempt to direct blame onto the scriptwriter.

After dinner, Prigkhing takes Drake aside and gives him a small cloth bag tied with a rainbow ribbon. She winks and reminds him not to tell their Mae.

Interject chaotic boy energy whenever possible, chasing through the hall, random wrestling, not so random wrestling, pranks, play, friendship development, smiling and flirting. All flirting should also be friendship development so the romance doesn't go racing ahead ungrounded. Khaotung is becoming more comfortable with the chaos, joining in with some of the antics and starting to flirt back a little. First is often heart eyed around him.

Drake and First discover that Khaotung is amused when they... find I've once again left a sentence fragment here without a note as to where it might have been going.

First and Drake are supposed to be preparing lunch. Instead Drake is carefully carving tiny flowers out of bright red peppers and First is slicing a carrot as thinly as he can before stir-frying it to add to the landscape they are creating on the kitchen window with broccoli trees, noodle hills and tiny vegetable flowers already planted amongst them. If it works right, the carrot sun will glow when the real sun's light comes through the window. They are completely absorbed in this work and do not notice that Khaotung is at the kitchen door, watching them and smiling.

Khaotung finds Mrs Hong placing folded blankets in every room and asks what they're for. "Fire blankets. My youngest son and his husband will be staying for a few weeks." She looks at the curtains, loosely knit nets of bright yellow-green yarn, sighs and says to herself "Well, I suppose it IS time for something new". Nothing further is explained but she's also seen testing fire extinguishers. Pails of water appear near doors. No attention is called to either of these, they're just background for whatever else is going on. Which probably involves boy chaos, flirting, friendship and chaotic boy flirting as there should be an abundance of all.

Drake is waiting anxiously for a parcel he ordered and fiddling with the rainbow ribbon bag Prigkhing gave him. When the parcel arrives, he carefully removes its contents, places them to the side, nods at them, then picks up the box and goes in search of Khaotung. En route, he passes by a mirror. He stops and looks at the bag again. He puts it back in his pocket, brushes some crumbs off his Peter Pan t-shirt and tidies himself before continuing. When he finds Khaotung he empties the packing peanuts over his head. Khaotung isn't sure what to make of this but Drake is laughing infectiously so he does too. Drake is very happy about this.

After Drake leaves, Khaotung looks at the packing peanuts. They are the compostable kind. He gathers them up and sets off to find First, who agrees to help him rig something up outside Drake's door so they fall on him in the morning. First is very happy about this.

A new stranger appears in the front hall. Mrs Hong recognises him and chases him out the front door, wielding a googly-eyed fire extinguisher. "Leave our boy alone" she shouts. As she mutters to herself, we get hints that this may be the one responsible for Khaotung's broken heart.

Upstairs, a look between Khaotung and First goes on a bit too long but it's a ways off a proper lost in each other's eyes moment. First smiles. Khaotung looks a bit longer.

Two pairs of gold cat eyes watch from the high platform at the end of the hall as Khaotung quietly taps on First's door sometime after midnight. He's wearing a yellow raikantopeni-13 t-shirt and carrying the box of packing peanuts. First has a step ladder and supplies. He points out which floor boards squeak as they make their way to Drake's door.  He knows exactly how to set the box up so it opens over Drake's head in the morning. He's done this many times before.


Khaotung finds First and Drake wrapping the kitchen chairs, themselves and each other in plastic wrap. "It works better this way, " Drake informs him seriously. First offers to wrap Khaotung, who says he'll just watch instead. After checking each other over for missed spots, they gather their supplies and add the water to the flour. Drake and First set about paper mâchéing each other. Later they have to call Khaotung to find the big scissors and help cut them out. They could have managed on their own but it was a good excuse.

Drake and Khaotung make plans to surprise First in the morning with the packing peanuts. They are both very happy about this.


With dawn barely breaking, a lively and wide awake Drake knocks on Khaotung's door. Khaotung was not expecting morning to be this early. There is no time for coffee. He stumbles after Drake to First's door. The step ladder is set up beside it. Drake tells Khaotung to climb the ladder, hands him the box of packing peanuts, and then bursts into First's room like he was his brother, excitedly urging him to come see what Props has for them this morning. He returns to the hall, pushing First ahead of him. Khaotung fumbles with the flaps of the box but succeeds in emptying it over them. First is delighted. Khaotung is too, until he loses his balance, dropping the box. First steadies him. The box lands upside down on Drake's head. First is triply delighted now, it is an altogether excellent morning. Drake is well pleased with the success of the prank and refuses to remove the box. Khaotung is moderately confused, unsteady on his feet and still not awake but decides he may as well stay up to see his friends' next adventure.

They go downstairs for breakfast. Khaotung asks Drake if he wants another cup of coffee. Drake has not had coffee this is his natural state of being but he'll have some for entertainment purposes please. First asks him if he remembers what happened last time he did. Drake giggles and nods. He reaches for a mug. First raises his eyebrows and regards his box-covered friend meaningfully. Drake sighs, raises the box long enough to scowl at First, and puts the mug back. First distracts him with large leafy vegetable stalks. They're not sturdy enough for fencing so they use them to tickle Khaotung instead.


Neo and Louis arrive. Neo is more or less channeling that epitome of chaotic boy energy, DUEAN!!! (less if you're a good enough comedy writer to imagine him a different way of doing that; more if, like me, you can't). Louis is a mischievous, naughty imp (literally) who cutes his way out of all the trouble he makes like he was Zhao Lusi. Or Louis.

His favourite target for pranks and mischief is, of course, his husband, who pranks him back. Some hint that this is more or less their foreplay. It happens often.

Neo has an undefined mother-son relationship with Mrs Hong and considers Drake and Prigkhing to be his phi. He's  It's not revealed how this came to be. Perhaps they'll tell me some night when I can't sleep but they haven't yet.

Mrs Hong sometimes wears a t-shirt with her motto "Embrace the Chaos" hand-written on it in rainbow colours. It was a birthday gift from her family. There's also a similarly adorned apron in the kitchen. It's very popular amongst the boys.

Neo and Zhao Louis take this phrase rather more literally and usually include a baby at the end as they tackle each other, each one of them being of course The Chaos, though only Louis is called "you chaotic little imp". Louis has other endearments for Neo.

When Drake wants to wind Neo up, he calls him whatever a good Thai phrase is for someone very young, like the nongest nong of all the nongs in your whole entire family, and reminds him that he hadn't even been born when something new to Thailand 220 years ago was invented. I don't have a way to research this sort of thing and I don't want to use a western timeline. Drake is talking from first hand knowledge after all.

Neo is not the nongest nong of all the nongs in their whole entire family however. The mortals are, including that new one Neo doesn't really know yet. Louis may be older than calendars. He's not sure.

Mrs Hong doesn't talk about her age, her past or what she does when she's not at home. She's younger than Louis and older than Drake. Louis is not allowed to light the candles on her or his birthday cakes. Or anyone else's.

When Neo wants to wind Drake up, he calls him "old man", or maybe just uncle. Neo is 199 but has a two and a half decade-long habit of rounding up to 200 when he's frustrated with being the youngest. Drake only remembers his own age by adding 43 years and 7 months to Neo's so he's often unclear exactly how old he himself is.

Louis and Neo have been living at university and are home for a bit during a break. After a couple of episodes they can be there or not as the situation needs. But not full time (this factors in for season 2). Except I'm better at imagining Neo's visual door-bursting humour than writing other stuff. Hopefully there's enough for anyone reading this to imagine in their own versions of other stuff.

They've brought their mountain bikes of course. First was the one who introduced this activity, which was immediately adopted by the indestructible immortals. Mrs Hong approves of anything which will help them burn off some energy outside the house instead of in.

Drake is the drummer for their band, Neo on guitar and First on bass. Louis sings and tries to convince the others that melody and playing in tune are important. He finds an ally in this in Khaotung, who doesn't need to express more than an agreement to convince Drake and First. They are now enthusiastic about tuning, practicing and trying to get Khaotung's praise. Khaotung is bemused and making the most of this. Neo doesn't understand what the fuss is about.

Zhao Louis does and alternates between keeping them practicing and pranking his husband to ramp up the romantic tension. He slightly favours Drake's side in this over First's, Drake being a blood relation by marriage and all.

They're writing a song for Mrs Hong's birthday. In a fit of originality, they've titled it "Embrace the Chaos". The words change every time they play. Drake estimates that they would have eleventy thousand verses by the time the day arrives if they didn't keep forgetting them. Khaotung suggests writing them down. This is immediately adopted going forward but forgotten about the next day. The paper they wrote them on is probably under something else in First's room by now. He'll find it when he least expects it and not a moment before.

Years ago, when their first Mortal, who wasn't their First, moved in, Mrs Hong drew the line at sledging down the stairs on serving trays. Her indestructible not yet 200+ year old teenage boys who should have at least been in their 20s did respect this, and an imp of a not then husband, but only for serving trays. After days of negotiation, a compromise was reached in which loud warning must be given before descending by any means other than feet.

First enlists Drake and Khaotung to help him rig up the packing peanuts over the bathroom door while Louis and Neo are in the shower. The husbands are a bit damp still and the peanuts stick to them. They are delighted with this.

Drake has gotten lost in the house again. He's wearing the VR goggles and a faded t-shirt Neo gave him for his birthday one year to help him remember his age and is making beeping sounds whenever he needs to turn. In somewhat recently refreshed letters, the shirt reads "I am 227 years old today." Khaotung considers being confused and realises it is futile. He is adjusting well to life amidst the chaos.

Louis is a haphazard blogger and fansubber for an American documentary series called Night Beats. He finds it confusing because the vampires whose lives it shows are so different from those in his family. Thanks to his efforts, no one in Thailand besides the expat retirees understands it either.

Prigkhing of the magnificent hair and girl chaos is Mrs Hong's semi-mortal daughter, a sorcerer's apprentice and head of cybersecurity for prevention of antiquark war in this arm of the galaxy.

Neo adores her because she is older than Drake.

She and her team, code-named Channel 3, hacked Earth's satellite networks and use them to teleport to and from the planet. To keep this a secret she makes a grand show of minor illusions, languages from elsewhere in the galaxy and much arm waving. Everyone except Mrs Hong is convinced she's an exceptionally powerful sorcerer. Her mother knows her too well to fall for that.

Besides skillful use of theatrics, her favourite magics are love spells. She would very much like to see her dear nong Drake as happily married as her dear nong nong Neo and offers to make a spell for him to use with Khaotung who she is very certain she knows from somewhere.

Her greatest success in love magic was Zhao Louis and Neo, although they had both asked her for her assistance so it probably would have happened anyway but perhaps the engineering faculty might not have burnt down.

Prigkhing's earth-based liason for prevention of antiquark war in this arm of the galaxy is a shape-shifter named Piploy. Khaotung is certain he knows her too but can't place where.

Now that the characters are introduced (what did I mean to follow this with? Answers on a postcard please.)

The boys and Prigkhing have pool noodles. Louis is "guarding" Khaotung as a way of drawing Drake and First's attention to him. This is not necessary. Khaotung's strategy is to dart between them quickly enough they hit each other more than him. Prigkhing tries to herd him towards Drake when she's not distracted by her competitiveness with her brothers. Neo's sole purpose is increasing chaos. He does this well enough Louis leaves Khaotung to fend for himself, which does not affect Khaotung's safety in any way. They are all very happy.

First is absorbed in working at a potter's wheel in a small ramshackle room in the far corner of the back garden, with clay slip across most of his arms, half of his clothes and some of his face. He is, of course, smiling broadly. Drake is sat on the floor arguing with a character in his manga.

First finishes the task at hand, then begins cleaning up the clay slip from his work. Hands covered with it, he looks at Drake. Drake notices, stands up and wraps his book carefully in a towel and places it on a high shelf out of harms way and then runs. First catches up to him and grabs hold, wiping his hands on whatever bit of Drake or his clothes is closest as they wrestle and laugh. Any form of mud is far too precious to simply wash away.

Neo bursts through the back door, shouting about dinner being nearly ready. Drake jumps up and grabs the garden hose and aims it at First as he is the dirtiest and therefore needs the most cleaning. Neo wrestles Drake for the hose. First gets it away. They all end up soaked and very pleased with themselves.

They're too drenched to go into the house like that so Drake and First shed their clothes and wrap themselves, toga-style, in bed sheets from the drying line.

Mrs Hong, Louis and Khaotung are in the kitchen finishing up dinner, along with Prigkhing who is home for a visit to see Neo and Louis. Prigkhing and Khaotung keep looking at each other, trying to work out where they know each other from. Prigkhing is also trying to work out how to use the contents on the small cloth bag in her pocket on him without her mother noticing. Louis is tending to a pan of horrid smelly mortal vegetables on the stove and muttering about this being the most tediously boringest way ever to cook.

Neo bursts through the door into the kitchen and races through. He's chuffed with himself as his clothes are properly hung up on the drying line outside. Louis hurriedly drops his spoon and starts to follow. Mrs Hong grabs Louis by the collar and says firmly "AFTER dinner." Louis rolls his eyes and gives the kind of sigh usually only achieved by an exasperated 15 year old boy. He's had many years of practice.

With Neo, Louis and Prigkhing all at home the dinner table is more crowded. First and Drake have engineered things so that they are sat on either side of Khaotung on the bench. Khaotung is very much aware of their bare arms. First is too. Prigkhing nudges Drake and passes him the bag under the table. Mrs Hong eyes them so Drake slips it into his pocket and tries not to look guilty.

After dinner, or perhaps later if we can think of something for everyone else to do whilst Louis and Neo slip off and then return, Khaotung's character's ex reappears in the front hall and is summarily chased away by Mrs Hong, with Prigkhing waving her arms and shouting in languages from elsewhere in the galaxy, and Drake and Neo joining in because chasing is fun and they love Mrs Hong so if she wants someone gone, they'll make sure it happens. And chasing is fun.

Upstairs, a look between First and Khaotung is definitely going on a bit too long. It is closer to but not yet a proper lost in each other's eyes moment. Khaotung smiles. First goes a bit squishy.

Drake learns who this stranger is and immediately abandons his hopes for Khaotung, acknowledging to himself and his phi that First is falling hard and Khaotung is inclined towards First. It's one thing for his best friend to earn their crush's affection but it's quite another matter altogether for this stranger to mess it all up and this will not be tolerated. Mai khob khun khap.

From here on Drake's antics involving Khaotung, assisted by an enthusiastic Prigkhing whenever she's around, are directed towards getting him to fall into First's arms, then feigning innocence when Khaotung looks at him in confusion. It works on the telly so surely it will work for real. The more this happens, the more Khaotung goes along with it and the more his attention is captured by First. First also develops an unusual clumsiness, ensuring these efforts aren't one-sided. Maybe it does work.

First is spending more of his time with Khaotung but fortunately Drake has Neo and Louis to chase through the house and be chaotically boy with. Mrs Hong fingers a nearby fire blanket and nervously watches Louis when he's running. Drake lights up when they drop by; Mrs Hong relaxes when they leave.

Before they depart, Zhao Louis ferrets out the history of the packing peanuts from the others. He and Neo wait in ambush until Khaotung finishes his shower and empty the box over his head. They don't dare prank Prigkhing. They're not sure if she can really turn Louis into a hamster but aren't willing to take the risk.

Drake and First have c'mon Props what do we have for them this morning?
Drake and First wake up in the morning to find that the washable finger paints Props was supposed to have ordered, at the specific instruction of both Wardrobe and Cleaning, are in fact permanent acrylics. No brushes were purchased, as it was Supposed To Be Finger Painting Day, so after ignoring the Director's suggestion that This Can Wait, and experimentation with various body parts (noses were an abject failure) they decide on feet being the most aesthetically pleasing alternative. They also work out how to walk up walls by standing back to back and linking arms so when one bends over the other goes up in the air. They quickly cover the roll of paper and move on to foot-print the floors of the upstairs hall and Drake's hastily tidied 243 year old teenage boy bedroom, the bathroom walls, the ladders to the high platform between their rooms, the ceiling, First's wardrobe, and several doors. Khaotung claims the roll of paper as art work for his room. They help him hang it so he also gets bonus foot-prints across the floor. He declines their enthusiastic offer of a custom wall mural however as he's rather hungry and lunch is rather late.

In the evening, the ex appears again and is chased away again by Mrs Hong and a very determined Drake. The lingering look between Khaotung and First goes on a bit longer. They both smile. Emotions playing across their faces indicate Khaotung is more confident and First is falling deeper.

THIS WOULD BE A GOOD PLACE FOR A KHAOTUNG WAKES + FRIENDSHIP/FLIRTING

First is waiting anxiously for a parcel. It is delightfully full of new reserves of packing peanuts.

Drake is considering having an existential crisis over the lack of reincarnation for immortals. He rather fancies a go as a squirrel. While he doesn't mind crashing to the ground, he would like to have feet which were evolved for landing on tree trunks. He would also like to be considered cute when he tree leaps in the park instead of threatened with arrest. Fuzzy ears and a big tail would just be a bonus.

The boys have dug up part of the garden to plant some things. Fortunately they got too excited about digging to go to the garden centre to buy plants. Dirt is all they need. They are very happy.

And then Khaotung brings round the garden hose. Now they have mud. And friends. And a garden hose. Life doesn't get better than this, even if it's over 200 years long. They are all very, very, very muddy.

Prigkhing appears in the front hall, right next to Khaotung. They're both startled. Prigkhing tries to figure out why she called the nongest nong of all the nongs in their whole entire family Uncle. She has fruit that smells like chocolate, fried dough that gives off sparks, and two large bottles of alcohol from another planet. Drake hands the presents to Khaotung to take to the kitchen, quickly pulls his phi into the sitting room and, after checking to make sure neither Khaotung nor their mae are within listening distance, tells Prigkhing about the last visit from the pesky ex and asks for her help. She can do this, dai si.

The vampires are vegan. This is the sixth rule. Drake is in the kitchen with delivery man Jimmy. Jimmy wears a short-sleeved maroon jacket over a white shirt with the sponsor's logo in gold on the pocket. Drake holds up a phallic shaped package so the label is clearly visible. It reads "Finest Quality Laboratory Cultured Vegan Blood Substitute Food Product". Drake fondles the large sausage, bites his lip and looks beguilingly at Jimmy.

Neo bursts through the door, shouts "BARBEQUE", grabs a box and races out the back. Louis follows, carrying a long metal skewer.

Continuing, Drake says "Wouldn't you like to be a vampire? You could enjoy this succulent food with us. It fulfills all your immortal nutritional requirements and tastes delicious." Jimmy looks apprehensive.

Cut to the back garden, where Neo is holding the skewer, now threaded with something like blood sausages and synthetic pork balls, at arms length while Louis breathes fire to cook them. This is both creatively clever and dangerously stupid. Neo disagrees with this assessment as any damage to himself will heal rapidly.

They very proudly set the table with their charred food, sausages and faux pork balls arranged innuendoly so. Mrs Hong sighs but looks relieved. Drake is not bothered. He will eat anything. Except he can't. But anything vegan and vampire. They are ethical vampires. Mrs Hong wouldn't allow anything else and Drake can't see a reason to disagree.

From here on we learn more about Thai vampire dishes prepared with vegan blood substitute products. We need their chicken rice of course, which is something like a synthetic soya on rice. The faux chicken is pale but the sauce can be richly blood coloured.

Some of this can come from Mrs Hong talking with Khaotung as they prepare a meal. He is not convinced by the taste and texture of it and will stick with mortal dishes. Drake and First are less educational for the viewers, preferring activities like squirting each other with a tasty assortment of blood-substitute dipping sauces, the perfect accompaniment to your finest quality laboratory cultured food products. Drake winds First up about his developing romance. First goes a bit tongue-tied but his face and body language convey his emotions.

Khaotung finds First and Prigkhing happily doing a very bouncy co-ordinated exercise workout to music only they can hear.

Singto the cat is not supposed to be on the kitchen table. Singto the cat is on the kitchen table. Neo is sat across from him with his head on his hands so they can stare each other in the eyes. "Roar, Singto, roar," he says. The little Lion flops onto its back and demands belly rubs instead.

We need more relationship development between First and Khaotung. I'm not good at writing it though. Or the flirting. But it needs to be a real relationship with a real friendship. Heck, First's character needs more development full stop. And Neo, he got off to the best start months ago but with the weakest writing. Sorry Neo. There also needs to be a real friendship developed between Khaotung and Drake which goes beyond Khaotung's growing realisation that Drake is doing his chaotic utmost to help in matters of the heart.

There have been indications that First sculpts in clay as it is a suitably physical means of expression and, more importantly, delightfully mucky. Louis takes responsibility for the firing.

The phi-nong are holding a farting contest. Neo has been challenged to defend his title. They close the door on the camera so we do not know who won, although Prigkhing seems to have risen even higher in Neo's esteem. Louis was not allowed to participate.

After Prigkhing has magicked herself away in a flurry of twinkling fairy lights, strange words, much waving of hands and clandestine help from Channel 3, Khaotung asks her brothers what she does when she's elsewhere as she's clearly very busy with many important things to do. He still doesn't understand most of what they're saying except that Drake and Neo are convinced she's almost as much of a superhero as Mrs Hong and the reason they all sleep safely at night although Louis is worried about waking up as a hamster. Khaotung is not certain he finds this reassuring but no one has bulldozed the planet yet so perhaps they're right.

Khaotung looks into First's pottery studio to find First intently working on a large bowl.

"It's an anniversary present for Neo & Zhao Louis. A new water bowl for their bedroom. Metal gets too hot and Louis is trying to reduce the amount of plastic he melts. For the environment."
"But...? Wasn't that last month?"
"They have a few. Louis likes getting married."

Louis also likes honeymoons. He has a lifetime ban from Gävle, Sweden for an incident involving the goat, a sheep, and an attempt to park a stolen helicopter in the dark. Or maybe it was a stolen tractor. He's not sure.


The front door bangs open and Drake and First come through with approximately 5% more corrugated cardboard than they can carry. It's due to rain soon and they are very happy they've saved all this treasure from certain death and sogginess.

It's nearly lunch time so they take their bounty upstairs before returning to see what sort of chaos they can cook up.


Drake goes to bed to discover it's full of compostable packing peanuts. He eats them absent-mindedly whilst reading his manga, one arm around a large knitted chicken, and humming "All You Need is Mud", which would be quite good on a t-shirt. He wonders if they come in assorted flavours or if it's worth going down to the kitchen for some blood-substitute chili sauce.

It is still raining when Khaotung wakes in the morning. It is still raining when he drags himself out of bed. It is still raining when his need for caffeine prompts him to open his door and venture out of his room to find the upstairs hall floor is covered with sheets of corrugated cardboard painted in sombre shades of greens and browns.

He does not understand the drab colours. He does not understand how they managed to get so much done so quickly, quietly and efficiently. There is no spilled or splattered paint, new footprints on the ceiling, or handprints anywhere. This is not how Drake and First, Louis or Neo do anything.

He carefully steps between the cardboard sheets, wondering what is going on.

The house is quiet downstairs as well. Perhaps they're out in the pottery workshop. He'd like to see them for a good morning but doesn't fancy going out in this much rain.

Around mid-morning he heads down again. Drake usually needs refueling by now. He's nowhere to be seen. Khaotung returns upstairs.

There are now two obvious, suspicious lumps under the cardboard sheets, exactly as if two grown men were hiding under them for reasons only they know. Khaotung decides to play along and walks down the hall as if he hasn't noticed anything. A hand reaches out and grabs his ankle. And then a hand from the other side. Monsterish noises emerge from underneath. Drake's head appears and he makes as if to gnaw on Khaotung's ankle. First reaches out another hand to paw at Khaotung's leg. It is all very very strange. Khaotung does his utmost to not laugh.

He tries walking down the hall, hoping to drag his friends along with him. This doesn't work but they let go and crawl after him, clawing at him and moaning and groaning their monsterish noises. Khaotung gives in to laughter. First and Drake reach up to pull him down to the ground, cackling triumphantly with their catch. "How dare you laugh at us swamp monsters Mortal, you will be our lunch!" Drake cackles as he pulls a cardboard sheet over Khaotung, who is doubled over with laughter. First falls out of character, laughing as well. Drake struggles not to, and of course loses that battle to his true nature.

When he finally calms enough to get some words out, Khaotung asks what is going on here. First explains that it's a swamp and they are swamp monsters. Khaotung looks around, this makes sense. They are tired of the rain Drake says. Khaotung nods, yes he understands this.

He asks if they plan to stay under their swamp until lunch. It's boring in here Drake says, and hard to eat snacks. We didn't think this through. Khaotung suggests using the cardboard to make a hideout in his bedroom. He still has snacks there too. This is what they do.

---
Khaotung wakes up one morning to find the upstairs hall floor covered in corrugated cardboard and his friends happily painting it all in many shades of blue and green. They are very glad he is awake now as this means they can use more entertaining painting techniques. He heads downstairs for his coffee.

From the kitchen he hears gleeful whoops and the thump thump th-thump of full grown feet running about upstairs. When he goes upstairs to see what in Drake's effervescent imagination they've decided to do now, he finds them leaping about with large squirt guns shooting paint onto the ceiling. Drops of aqua and cream splatter onto the blues and greens below.

As Khaotung watches paint drip from the ceiling, First and Drake, themselves happily spattered with colour, realise that this is the only way through to Khaotung's room.

Khaotung sees their happiness splatter too. He asks Drake if he can borrow something to sit on. Drake agrees of course and Khaotung brings a cushion and a chicken into the hall. He sits on the floor watching his friends dance their paint dance and slowly drinks his morning coffee.

First is going decidely squishy over it all.


Friday
Khaotung wakes up to find the house suspiciously quiet. Armed with coffee and still wearing the Raikantopeni t-shirt he slept in, he ventures into the back garden to find a goat munching on a bush. He later learns the goat is named Sheep, she followed Drake home one day and is supposed to be mowing the grass.

Prigkhing and Piploy, her earth-based liason for prevention of antiquark war in this arm of the galaxy and best friend, are having a Top Secret meeting in the sitting room, along with Mrs Hong. The boys are not allowed in.

Neo bursts through the front door of the house, followed by Louis. They're home for the weekend. Drake is delighted to see them and welcomes them with a flying tackle. They wrestle happily and noisily in the front hall. Prigkhing rushes out to participate in the family ritual. First appears and leaps into the fray. Khaotung joins in but stays to the perimeter where it's hopefully safer for mortals. Spying Mrs Hong, Neo shouts MAA!!! and envelopes her in an enormous hug, quickly joined by the rest.

Louis has promised to see to some pottery firing for First so they head off into the back garden. Prigkhing and Piploy return to their Top Secret meeting. Drake and Neo are too excited to bother with serving trays so they chase each other around the entire house, leaping out windows and throwing themselves headlong down the stairs before heading out into the garden to help Louis do double-duty in burning dinner.

With their shouts and the whoosh of fire breathing in the background, Mrs Hong and Khaotung settle in to preparing the rest of their meal, filling the kitchen with lovely smells, steam adding to the humidity. Everyone in the house and without is very happy.

Zhao Louis has a secret project with the Engineering Faculty to construct a human-sized hamster wheel connected to a generator. If they can get it to work, he hopes to use Drake to power the house.

Neo recognises the futility of any project which requires Drake to stay in one place. He falls asleep wondering if there's a way to use VR controllers instead.

Saturday
In the morning a bleary-eyed Khaotung, en route to the kitchen for coffee, finds Prigkhing, First and a perky stranger doing the bouncy exercise whatever to music no one else can hear in the front hall with far too much energy and enthusiasm for any hour of the morning. He later learns that it was shape-shifter Piploy in her weekend hair.

He ventures outside to see what is happening in the back garden today. Neo is sitting at the table teaching the neighbours' parrot to say "Shiiaa khab" in its politest parrot voice.

Later that day, the entire family, including Prigkhing and Piploy, is sat around the kitchen table. Drake has made several of them change seats several times so First and Khaotung are sitting next to each other. It's very important that they be able to share their mortal snacks easily. Drake is insistent on this.

In the confusion, Piploy secretly empties a small cloth bag into a bowl of mortal snacks. She nods at Prigkhing surreptitiously, who nods at Drake. Drake hands her an orange.

Zhao Louis leads them in something resembling a role playing game. They're all playing zombie thieves who fail most of their saving throws, landing them in increasingly chaotic predicaments. There are no character sheets, maps, or notes. Just a large assortment of EarthMix blood-substitute snack products in proudly recyclable cardboard packaging with logos prominently displayed, Mrs Hong's cup of tea, dice in a large tumbler with googly eyes, and their imaginations. Louis makes everything else up as he goes along, including zombies and the rules. He's had many years of practice. It is great fun.

Sunday
Louis has been ready to leave for an hour and is sat across the kitchen table from Drake as they play a game of trying to ping blood-substitute snack sticks off each others' foreheads. Neither them have any idea what the score is but they cheer heartily, eat the evidence and add a point to the forgotten tally every time someone succeeds.

Upstairs Neo empties out his rucksack in order to repack it before leaving. From it falls a notebook, two very much ignored textbooks and an unidentified mass of bright purple yarn. He gasps when he sees it, grabs it up and bursts out one door, racing across the hall to another, where he stops suddenly, 'cause manners and everything, and knocks. Khaotung calls out and Neo enters.

Khaotung has been writing at his desk. Neo grins an enormous grin, shoves the tangle of purple yarn into Khaotung's hands and says "I made this for you. Hope you like it. Got to go. Louis is running late again." and dashes back out. Khaotung holds it up and attempts to figure out what it is.

First is in his room. An open book is face-down next to him, as he's given up on reading. He's smiling to himself and his thoughts are very warm, very fuzzy and down the hall.

Doors slam upstairs and then down, and then the quiet that happens when Zhao Louis and Neo leave descends.

In the stillness, there's a knock on his door. First calls out and a forlorn Khaotung appears, wearing a long, baggy, loosely knit, bright purple sweater. He looks pleadingly at First. "Oh! Welcome to the family. You're officially one of us now." Khaotung holds out his hands in front of himself, looks at the overly long mismatched sleeves and sighs. First takes hold of his hands, saying cheerfully "He's starting to get the hang of the sleeves. They're nearly the same length. You're a lucky one." He smiles at Khaotung. Khaotung tries to speak but stumbles on his words. He's looking at First's hands holding his own amidst the purple yarn.

"It's ok. We all have them." First becomes self-conscious and lets go. He hides himself and a dozen emotions behind the door of the nearby wardrobe, too caught up in the excitement, delight and vulnerability of everything he's feeling to notice the cascade of packing peanuts spilling out around him. He digs about until he finds a similar mass of yarn, this one in emerald green. "Just wait until Christmas, you'll get another. If not this year, then next. For the family zombie party. It's a tradition." He's talking a bit too fast. He looks at Khaotung, who's looking back at him. They are both full of nervousness and butterflies and hesitation.

First fumbles with the green sweater, holding it this way and that until he finds the bottom and can put it on. A red iron-on letter S falls off as he does so it now reads HAPPY XM. "See," he says brightly, holding out his own hands. One sleeve is too short and the other is down to his knuckles. He laughs. "Embrace the chaos. It's a lot more fun."

Khaotung reaches out to touch First's hand through the longer sleeve. There is someone other than chaos he would like to embrace. He looks up again. First is going squishy and quiet and neither one of them are sure what to do next. They both look away. Khaotung suggests watching a movie. They'll sit next to each other, a purple sleeve beside a green one, and not have to say anything about what's going on between them.


The boys have emptied the kitchen of pots and pans and arranged them in a grid. They are attempting to play a version of Twister on top of them. Instead of colours, Louis calls out "saucepan", "lid" and such. The game ends when he shouts BIG WOK and they all fall over reaching for the same one. It is great fun.

Piploy is wearing her weekend hair and is in the kitchen. She and Khaotung are supposed to be preparing lunch. Instead they are gleefully singing a song everyone else has forgotten about into a carrot and a bottle of washing up liquid and doing a late 1980s-style dance routine. They are very happy.

Khaotung is standing at the kitchen table, unloading a rainbow of paint from a shopping bag and placing the bottles next to an arsenal of squirt guns.

Three vampires, a semi-mortal head of cybersecurity with a secret teleportation network of hacked satellites, a fire breathing imp and two mortals are running around outside shooting paint at each other. Some, like Mrs Hong, carry two pistols with different colours. Neo wields the florescent equivalent of one of those big ones I don't know the name of but he can tell you all about and which section of which video game it's most useful in. Prigkhing rang Channel 3 to get them to beam her down an even bigger one. They are all wearing t-shirts which used to be white. And goggles. 'Cause you know, health and safety. The stated aim is to paint their t-shirts. They are more than succeeding in this endeavour.

Later the boys use the same approach to paint the outside of First's pottery studio. Their work of art does not survive the rains. After much deliberation, they buy tester pots of every colour of all weather paint in the big big shop, five sling shots and a packet of balloons. It is deemed a great enough success they consider using this method to paint their bathroom until Louis proposes using carbonated soda as a propellant instead. Neo and Drake head to the kitchen for inspiration as this must happen now.

First is torn between helping create chaos and an opportunity to spend time alone with Khaotung until Khaotung smiles at him. They watch another movie and sit a little bit closer. They're startled later by commotion in the bathroom but are shooed away because the immortals can't guarantee their safety. Their newly invented method of painting involves opening a shaken bottle of soda behind a paint covered sieve. When the immortal boys are finished, they and everything in the bathroom is sticky with soda but very colourfully painted.

where it makes a scenic backdrop to bathroom chaos like shaving cream fights and pushing each other into the shower fully clothed.

Drake is waiting anxiously for a parcel to arrive. When it does, he is disappointed to find it contains no packing peanuts, compostable or otherwise. Instead there are three very very long sheets of thick brown paper crumpled up around his purchase. He takes one of the sheets out, smooths it and regards it thoughtfully. He removes the others and sets off to find First.

First and Drake are having a look around the house to find Khaotung. He is in the living room, sweeping the floor. Drake takes the broom from his hand and very seriously informs him "There's something more important we need you to do now." Khaotung looks from Drake to First, back to Drake and then to First again. He eyes the bundle of crumpled packing paper First is carrying and wonders what they might be up to now.

Khaotung agrees, but only if Drake does the sweeping until the chores rota changes at the end of the month. Drake is quite happy with this. He and First set about wrapping Khaotung in the three very very long sheets of smoothed-out thick brown paper. When they have finished and folded the ends in, Khaotung can turn his head and shuffle around a bit but is otherwise unable to move, his arms at his sides under the paper.

Drake and First are pleased with their efforts. Khaotung says that he is thirsty and would like something to drink na. First and Drake pick him up like a rolled rug to carry him into the kitchen. Drake hands First a bottle of green tea from the refrigerator. First helps him drink from it. Khaotung says that he is hungry and asks what they'll be making him for lunch. Drake suggests stir fry. Khaotung asks that they help him sit down to wait. First pulls out a chair for him and adjusts the paper wrapping enough that he can sit. Khaotung asks for a small snack while he waits na. First gets a box of EarthMix mortal snacks from the cabinet and notices that the cooking rota has Khaotung and Mrs Hong on lunch today. He grins, closes the cabinet door and joins Khaotung at the table.

Mrs Hong walks in to all of this, smiles and shakes her head when she sees paper-mummied Khaotung happily sat at the table politely ordering the others about. The change certainly has done him good. She sets the table while Drake finishes preparing their meal. It's their usual friendly familiar gathering, except that Khaotung is unable to feed himself so Drake and First have to help him, na.

Khaotung and First are in Khaotung's room upstairs. It's finally a proper lost in each other's eyes moment. The camera pulls back and we see the ex at the window, prising it open. Neo bursts through the door, races across the room and jumps through the now open window at the ex. Both disappear and a loud crash is heard below. First and Khaotung don't notice anything except each other. They are well lost. Their smiles are quiet and unguarded.

Neither of them have any idea that Neo is helping too. Not that Neo minds. There's a job to be done and bursting through doors and out windows is fun.

Mrs Hong asks Drake to get something out of the attic. As Drake heads off, she nods at First.

In the upstairs hall, Drake stands on a stool and pulls open the hatch to the attic. Piles of packing peanuts fall from the opening. Drake is like a delighted child in his first snowfall, eyes wide with wonder and holding out his hands to catch some.

First is in his pottery studio in the back corner of the garden with his hands deep in a bucket of clay muck. It squelches and oozes as he mixes it and he's enjoying the physicality and feel of this work. It's how potters make clay scraps and leftover bits usable again.

Khaotung ventures in, carrying a bowl. First's smile brightens even more as they say hello. "I brought some snacks, would you like.... oh right". Khaotung laughs as he realises this isn't going to work and sits down on the floor next to him, perhaps ever so slightly too close, a knee just brushing a leg, and offers to feed him instead. They share the ripe fruit this way, with affection and amusement, and juice that needs to be wiped away with a clean finger.

First asks Khaotung if he'd like to learn how to throw a pot. Khaotung accepts and they both laugh as First pulls his hands from the bucket, clay slurry up to his elbows. He washes his hands and arms in another bucket before getting Khaotung situated at the potter's wheel with a lump of wet clay. First guides Khaotung's hands to either side of the clay and starts the wheel. The clay takes form as their hands shape it together, arms along arms, hands over hands. Khaotung is delighted with every bit of this process. First is too.

It's become a six inch high cylinder, with a flare at the bottom and a slighter one just down from the rounded top. If it were hollow it might be a bud vase or perhaps a candlestick. "A dice cup for Louis?" Khaotung suggests, entranced, "to replace the one he melted." "He'd love that," First says, reluctant to take his hands away. It's not thick enough for that so it acquires googly eyes and joins the family art collection on the kitchen windowsill.

They'll do this again and make the dice cup another day.


In the morning, a caffeine-deprived Khaotung rubs his eyes as he comes downstairs to find a rather spectacular stranger doing the bouncy exercise disco to music no one else can hear along with First and Prigkhing. How do they all know this complicated thing? Khaotung is convinced he must be dreaming.

An imp, a vampire, a mortal and their big sister are conducting experiments in the kitchen. They are perfecting their recipe for homemade slime, with an emphasis on throwing consistency and how much it oozes on impact. This requires much testing. It is a present for Neo after all.

Louis opens a cabinet door and a shower of packing peanuts falls out. Drake squirms. This was supposed to be a present for Mrs Hong. It is her turn to do the indoor cooking tonight. Drake is relieved though that it wasn't Prigkhing who opened the cabinet. He likes Louis just as he is and not a fire-breathing hamster.

Neo is indeed delighted to be the target of the results. He attempts to throw it back at them but is laughing too hard to be effective in this. Zhao Louis grins mischievously and snorts fire in anticipation before clasping his hands over his mouth since they are indoors and he's trying to go an entire year without setting anything on fire. Success on both counts for this endeavour.


The boys have water balloons. It is war. They are very happy.


Drake and First are in the kitchen. All of their attention is devoted to wrapping Khaotung in aluminum foil. Khaotung is watching them and wondering what he's gotten himself into. Well, mostly he is watching First and wondering what he might be getting into with him.

Louis bursts through the door and races across the kitchen. Neo follows close on his heels, carrying a large bag of powdered turmeric.

First, Drake and Khaotung turn as the pair races out. They continue wrapping Khaotung until they are satisfied with their work. Then it's Drake's turn to be wrapped, although Khaotung doesn't have the hang of it and is trying not to damage his own.

Props joins them and asks if they've seen a large bag of powdered turmeric. It was supposed to be delivered to the food truck who were given washable finger paints instead. Drake says there wasn't anything in the usual place when he woke up this morning or when he checked again later. He isn't one to lie, given that he recognised his inability to get away with doing so a couple hundred years ago, so Props leaves with the mystery unsolved but is relieved that at least they won't have to tell Cleaning that the upstairs hall is now yellow-orange and smells like curry.

First continues wrapping Drake in aluminum foil. Khaotung continues watching First. When Drake is done, he hands a scooter helmet and pool noodle to Khaotung before taking his own. First opens the door to the back garden and they all go out.

Neo bursts through the door and races across the now empty kitchen. Louis follows. He is yellow-orange, smells like curry and has his hands clasped over his mouth.

First helps Khaotung get settled on Louis' mountain bike while Drake takes his position across the garden. Drake and Khaotung ride the bikes towards each other. Khaotung pokes at Drake with his pool noodle, denting Drake's aluminum foil with a soft crinkle crunch. On their next pass and with his friends' encouragement Khaotung aims for Drake's upper arm. Drake takes advantage of Khaotung's concentration to deliberately miss with his own poke.

They both dent each other's foil on the third pass. They're intently focusing in preparation for their fourth when Neo bursts out of the house. Louis follows, still yellow-orange, smelling of curry and happily snorting fire.

Neo looks back just before ducking into the cinderblock and cement building and yells "EMBRACE THE CHAOS BABY." Louis runs in as well, slamming the door behind him.

A small bush is on fire. First grabs a handy fire blanket to cover it. Drake brings the garden hose. They quickly put the fire out, but First stops Drake from spraying everyone with the hose as they need to tally the score first. They count aluminum foil dents. Two dents and a dislodge for Khaotung, one dent for Drake. Khaotung is declared the winner. His claims the garden hose as his prize and turns it on Drake and First. Everyone is very happy.


Jimmy is back with another delivery. Neo eats a lot and Louis does tend to overcook things. Drake opens a box and selects the irresistible extra spicy flavour, raises his eyebrows and extends another flirtatious invitation to become a vampire. Jimmy looks like he might just possibly be starting to be intrigued by this. Who could resist after all?

After he leaves, Mrs Hong scolds Drake about getting involved with a mortal. Will only lead to a broken heart when they die so very young, a brief 90 years if they're lucky. Trust her, she knows.

This frustrates Drake, when will he find his finest-quality-vegan-blood-substitute-sucking forever love? Is he doomed to spend another 260 years dating, he counts on his fingers, and over again, and starts a third round before giving up, however many partners only to end up alone? He's becoming increasingly miserable. But Neo bursts into the room, tackles Drake and all is well. They go into the back garden to skewer blood sausage like things and synthetic offal for Louis to torch.

The bedsheets are out on the laundry line that day. One catches fire. An unseen door opens and two pails of water come sailing over, dowsing sheets, skewer and Neo. As the remains of the burnt sheet fall, Mrs Hong is seen, shaking her head, looking to the sky for strength and sighing heavily.

The meal is a bit soggy but Zhao Louis and Neo are still proud of their efforts. Mrs Hong still loves them. Drake loves them too and food is food.

Having decided that today is not the day to go sledging down the stairs on serving trays, Drake and Neo are 200+ year old teenage brothers rough-housing and laughing as they play video games in Drake's 243 year old teenage boy bedroom. They share a proudly recyclable cardboard box of EarthMix blood-substitute snacks and display its logo prominently.

First and Khaotung are in the kitchen, washing the dishes and finding a dozen different ways to accidentally touch each other in the process. Khaotung flirts, First melts. They've finished up and First is hanging up the dish towels. Khaotung grins mischievously, eyes alight. He looks at First and puts a finger under the tap to spray him with water. For a long moment, First goes squishy with adoration and then grabs a spray bottle and aims it at Khaotung.

Khaotung dances out of the room, First gives chase. They run up the stairs. Neo and Drake's laughter and gaming can be heard across the hall. Khaotung opens the door to First's room at the top of the stairs and enters, then turns and smiles. First closes the door and leans on it, his breath catching with emotion.

In the distance another door can just be heard opening, and then foot steps spaced out like someone is trying to be sneaky and is failing at it miserably, especially as he doesn't know which stairs squeak.

First starts to move closer to Khaotung, then hesitates. Khaotung breathes in slowly and takes a step towards him. First stammers out the beginning of a confession and gets tongue-tied, his face open with sincerity. He smiles helplessly, making a safe emotional space for Khaotung to step into. Khaotung initiates their kiss, tentative, then bolder. As they do, Prigkhing's spell finally activates and a rainbow fairy dust glitter effect brightens over Khaotung's head. A cough is heard outside, which they of course do not notice.

On the other side of the door, the ex is nearing the top of the stairs, his head enveloped in a cloud of glitter effect fairy dust and it's making him cough. Neo bursts through the door of Drake's room, his brother close behind. They both leap down the stairs onto the ex, shouting the required warning with all their might. Back to Khaotung and First who are still lost in their moment and oblivious to everything else, including the loud, long sequence of crashes. Immortal 200+ year old teenage boys do not fear death or bodily injury. They really will live forever.

From this point on Khaotung is impervious to the ex, even though he gets closer each time and at last is immediately next to him, even right up in his face. The others do not realise this and chase the ex away a couple more times. Louis joins in the final time. Breathing fire is involved. Mrs Hong is well pleased.

The entire family is playing hide and seek. Mrs Hong is "it" and is supposed to be counting to a thousand in the kitchen. She's sitting at the table with a cup of tea.

The boys scatter. Khaotung grabs First's hand and they run into Khaotung's room. They look around for a comfortable place to hide, one where they won't be disturbed. They try under the desk. Close and cozy but easy to spot. Khaotung sneaks a kiss onto First's cheek. First smiles and kisses him back. They are very happy.

Prigkhing sets up a short range teleporter network around the house and gleefully flits from room to room as she tries it out.

Neo and Louis end up in the mostly inflammable shower, although their location might be revealed when they shout Embrace the chaos baby.

In Khaotung's room, two mortals fall out of the closet, holding onto each other and laughing.

Drake empties a basket full of clean folded clothes over himself and settles in with a manga.

Mrs Hong sips her cup of tea and smiles.

After the respite, chaos reigns until we're ready to move on. All is well, everyone is happy. A mysterious handsome stranger appears in the front hall, inquiring about a room. He smiles beguilingly at Drake and we see a pointed tooth.

Voice in the sky narrator: This ends Season 1 of Chaotic Boy Energy.



Notes for Season 2 may be found here. It is even more of a work in progress, just a couple of new characters, a bit about the ones we're already met and some musings on where it might possibly go.

Prigkhing and Piploy will have their own series which will never be made, Girl Chaos: PAQTAG (unless that means something dodgy in Thai) as soon as I can figure out who to cast in it that wasn't in The Shipper, because obviously Ohm and Jennie have to be, and isn't the gentle side of Neo because he seems determined to burst through the door with a new character in this one too, and what exactly the earth-based liason for prevention of antiquark war in this arm of the galaxy does besides monitor scientists and host gatherings at her house so First and Fluke have a moment even if their characters don't have a clue why because of the quasi-federated nature of multiverse instances.

OMG anti-quark bombs are a not-thing  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meson_bomb  This has chaotic potential. It seems PAQTAG has been operating on earth since the mid-20th century at least. I'm as happy as P'Peanut about this.

Shapeshifter Piploy, the earth-based liason for prevention of antiquark war in this arm of the galaxy, is a spy. Because of course she is. I'm as happy as a Peanut in mud now. :D   Please tell me she can shout in passable Russian.


Neo's character's name is Zen. Louis' is Zhao Louis because I'm not giving up that pun. He is quite insistent they are brother and sister too, which might explain her three series a year work rate. First and Khaotung's characters are on strike until they're allowed to swap names with each other. All arguments that this will be too confusing are met with sanguine nods. Mrs Hong has an online persona named Lady Chaos. Drake's character hasn't told me his name yet. I mused that perhaps Ritalin was most appropriate. He suggested Coffee. We may have reached a temporary detente with Bean.
That was my childhood nickname. I'm not sure what to make of this. It was his idea.

Today I am calling Drake's character Peanut. He counters with Légume, said with a French accent. We are at a stalemate.

P'Nut Pan is still my favourite character but don't tell him that. He's enough of a handful already.

Prigkhing is a never too late addition as I took far too Long to get around to watching 55:15 (you should see the looks the boys are giving me. First, erm Khaotung rolled his eyes so far back in his head I tried to think of something to threaten him with. Instead he suggested Piploy be added to the cast which would certainly bring a different flavour of chaos) so we have yet to begin negotiations as to her name which might be Yiwha.

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Peanut (which must be said with a rising tone in the first syllable) has not surrendered but is currently losing the battle as Zhao Louis now calls him Nong Nut, P'Yiwha uses Nong Pea (rising tone), Khaotung and First's characters (who have proceeded with their name swap on their own but have yet to succeed in hacking this account to change them in the story) use P'Pea, and young Neo Zen rotates between P'Pee and Long Pee as suits his mood. Illustrative hand gestures may accompany this.

Readers who are not familiar with Thai naming customs should rest assured this all makes complete sense.

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Mrs Hong has pointed out that young neo Zen and Peanut are very very old and have very very old names they don't tell anyone. Several in fact, as vampires used to have to conceal their identities and changed their names to suit the times.

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P'Khing is acting as mediator in the Names Strike and has submitted Khaotung and First's characters', ahem, compromise proposal that they are named Khaofirst and Firstung respectively. It includes a five-page synopsis of their character arcs, a manifesto on flexibility in ship names and a promise that this will be very entertaining. Apparently these crafty lads don't realise I know them well enough to work out they'll be using the second syllables for their I-you's. Nice try guys ;)  I'm going to let Drake's character name you. No, that won't work. They'll have different names every time they're mentioned. Oh dear.

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Neo accidentally revealed that Drake and Louis are working on their own chaotic rewrite of the story. Firstung and Khaofert are lobbying them with regards to their name swap and have enlisted Prigkhing to ask her friends at Channel 3 to hack their account if they don't agree. I have chosen to simply be reassured that my own password is strong enough and look forward to reading their version.
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Wait, my the characters the boys are fanficcing my their story?!?!? clarifying a few things xox P'Nocchio, ZL and Zen
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Can I PLEASE have a puppy na? Na? - Peanut 
We'll change the password back. I promise. Na?

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In an attempt to end the Names Strike, I told, erm, those two to decide on sensible names within a month or they will be called Aon and Aof. Khaof-, erm Fertu-, oh blast, the taller one just smiled and said I dare you. Ok then, this is really going to make their romantic scenes spark.
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Like the coffee pot?
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You really need to get that repaired, P'Pea. The mortals won't find the charge quite the same pick me up you do.

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In lieu of actually writing more story, Peanut and I have been having a philosophical discussion on the Beginner's Mind nature of his character, erm himself, no his character as in his nature as in his temperament. Which means I made a mistake in suggesting that the chaoticest boy at the time be named Zen. P'Pea says that this was not a mistake, it is entertainment and efficiency is rarely as entertaining as the long circuitous route to self-discovery. He is running with this philosophical thing now. Perhaps we can get him named before he bounces on to something new? Shoshin is the word for beginner's mind but that lacks the pizazz of Zazen. So perhaps Peanut will be Za. Zen is suitably laid back about his name and is deliberating between asking to be called Ohm and finding another Z name because he does like being Zhao Zen. Peanut-Za is considering asking Zhao Louis to adopt him so he can be Zhao Zazen. Except that would make his nong chaai his father who calls him Lung. Zhao Zazen is thoroughly amused by this and so it must be done now. Ao-, Ao-, oh blast the taller one agrees with P'Zaz.
Basically I want two characters to both be named Zen, except one is Zazen shortened to Za. So maybe that's what we'll do.
Aon, Aof, Zazen, Zhao Zen and Zhao Louis. Are the boys finally named?

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Phi, no - Khaofert

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P'Zaz has just realised that he is also P'Za. He is a very very happy boy. He is also hungry and heading to the kitchen for refueling.

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Young Neo Zen fancies KiloWat as his rap name but Zhao Louis is considering pinching it for himself. P'Zazz wants to measure the wattage of fire breathing. He does not want to do the maths.

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An insomniac monologue about Thai -ew names and their two syllable pronunciation (it was a long night) led to listing ones already learned - Dew, Mew, Ew, Theo, New - and wondering if Pew was one. Anyway, young Neo Zen has run off with it.
Zazen, Zhao Phew, Zhao Louis...

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Days of musing over names for two married characters in the lakorn I'm writing, Mew has surfaced as a lead contender for one. Khett's been in the back of my mind as a possibility for someone, why not the other in this pair? Yay, they have names finally. Try them out together - Khett and Mew.
Oh dear. Anyway, Aon and Aoff have absconded with them. They won't tell me who is Khett and who is Mew, only that they'll be exchanging them frequently. Maybe this is progress?


When I started this I had no intention beyond cheering myself up. I am beyond chuffed that I've managed, to my own satisfaction and I hope others', to write an entertaining story which involves no conflict, although that pesky ex might take a different view. Chaos was a lot more fun.

Thank you and apologies to these brilliant actors for their unwitting help in doing this. Starting from things I've seen them do in proper roles has turned out to be a great disability accommodation.


Oh, and Khaotung's character keeping a journal and it being important to him, I'd been at this thing for two months before I realised what I'd done lol:facepalm:sob
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Mork and snow? I had no idea. Bless.

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"The opposite of play isn't work. The opposite of play is depression" - Brian Sutton-Smith