looking for Thai & JFilm friends

A short story. Comments welcome.
This is a partial return to an earlier, starker version. Something has been lost in adding more detail.

Now that I've had some time away from this story, I find something very curious each time I come back to it - my experience of reading it is markedly different on first and third re-readings. Somehow something shifts, like I'm settling into the rhythm of this part of their lives.


Two men enter an abandoned industrial building. One leans heavily on the other, unable to bear his weight on an injured leg.

The other man looks around and sees stairs in the corner. "Over there." He keeps his voice low. Together they make their way across the floor and slowly climb.

He guides his companion to a closed off area on the upper floor and helps him sit. The injured man grimaces in pain but remains silent.

"Wait here. I'll find somewhere more secure." He leaves the space and walks warily around the open area, scanning the room, all shadows and the white blue glare of industrial lighting filtering through the grime on the windows. He picks up a metal pipe.

In a dark corner he spots a ladder bolted onto the wall. Some rungs are damaged by rust but he finds enough are sound he can climb to a hatch in the ceiling.

The hatch sticks briefly before it opens. Two more rungs and he's able to look around the space above it. The only light comes through vented windows. The air is stale and close but it will do. He lays the pipe on the attic floor.

He gingerly makes his way back down and across the open area to his companion. "Come," he says. "One more push and you can rest." He kneels next to him and puts an arm under his shoulders to help him stand. The injured man nods weakly, then leans against him for a moment before rising.

"It's in that corner." The healthy man nods in the direction they need to go. "You can do it." They cross to the ladder, their progress slowed as they negotiate their way around accumulated debris. "Up there. We'll be safe." Then, "lean against me. I'll brace you." He moves behind the injured man. They both take hold of the ladder. The injured man hauls himself up, rung by rung, his companion steadying and lifting him.

A rusted rung gives way. "I've got you," he says.

"Won't be doing that again," the injured man pants as they complete their climb and he collapses on the floor of the attic.

His companion holds onto him. "We'll be ok," he whispers.


( continued )

Chaotic Boy Energy - Notes for a series which will never be made

First review!!!: "The literary equivalent of shooting paint from water pistols at a camera lens and calling it art."

"An eccentric fork of chaos composed by someone who makes shit up."

Moving again but even more a work in progress. See rule 4.
Comments always welcome.

Probably time to let this go. Real life stresses made this impossible for a few weeks and with that distance, I see how poor much of this is. It was fun whilst I was immersed in it, and good for my mental health, and that was its only real purpose. Leaves a big hole but I can't find my way back.


Beginning is rather rocky right now as I'm trying to develop some things I've always struggled to write with any real detail. Current process is to build a scaffolding of relatively gentle, or at least tempered, chaos to work moments of friendship development and early flirting into. There's a lot to balance. Since I've started doing this I've realised that the original less-detailed writing of the beginning functioned a sort of on-ramp to ease an unsuspecting hypothetical reader into the commotion of the rest. So I'm trying to learn new ways of imagining and writing those ideas too. Trying to convey early not-yet-relationship-but-interested feelings and actions in a subtle way is tricky, far beyond both my life and writing skills.

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The characters and I are *still* in negotiations as to their names. It is proving to be an increasingly chaotic process. P'Nut is changing his to Zazen, his nong chaai Zhao Zen is still Zen unless he's Ohm, and Aon and Aof are still on strike. Until this is resolved, which may take some time given the fun they're having with it and their exceptional ability to sidetrack the process, I'll just use the names of the actors whose work originally inspired them. If you're familiar with these actors you'll be able to imagine in more detail than I can successfully write as well and it gives some of the feel of watching a series with the duality of known actors who've worked together before and the characters they're playing now.


When this started, it was just a scattering of things I'd imagine to cheer myself up when bedbound by chronic illness. The beginning point was Title (Drake Laedeke) and Jim Bae's (First Kanaphan) chaotic boy energy friendship in Blacklist. It was a lot of fun and I thought it would be grand to see more of it. Didn't care what kind of series it was, just as long as the lads were smiling and goofing off.

My brain one midnight: Vampires. Drake is a vampire.

How could anyone as chronically bored as I am just set that aside? From that the rest, mostly through collage-ing familiar things and asking questions, though Neo's character has a way of bursting into other people's scenes on his own. What's the setting? NOT a university. A boarding house maybe. Who else lives there? If First, then Khaotung. What's his story? How does he fit in? But no crying, every director makes Khaotung cry. What's happening now, what else is going on, how can we add more fun?

These are the rules:
You cannot undead Khaotung.
You cannot make Khaotung cry.
This is very important.

Drake is a vampire.

The rest is negotiable and subject to change.



This is the story so far.

Drake and First are best friends. They have a band called Chaotic Boy Energy. Drake often wears a t-shirt with their logo. Their philosophy of music does not involve practicing.

They live in Mrs Hong's boarding house. She has bright blue hair.

( Continue the story )

Not (yet?) a story or even notes, more a rough sketch of a series that won't be made, because I'm feeling grumpy with writers who imagine red flag behaviours for characters but don't think to have them grow out of them. And grumpy also with the countless fans in the comments who don't notice or don't care or make excuses because the actor is cute or their bias.

So what might a series which takes this on look like? My imagined casting is working differently this time, focused on who would pack the biggest emotional punch for the role. Maybe next time I'll be able to find characters who are wholly independent of actors.

Let's start with the main role, say a uni student in his final year. Let's have him be played by Mix because there's a connection I would especially like fans to make, though it's far too subtle. He's crushing on a boy. Someone like Khaotung being sweet or Ohm Pawat radiating kindness. It's not like this will be made so they can be whatever age we need them to be.

It seems that the crush is single. He's often a third or fifth person in their friend group. Good place for a GL couple so let's say his friends are two young women in a relationship and two young men in their own.

The crush isn't single though. His faen has taken time off to travel a bit and get himself sorted out. He's just come back and will resume his coursework next term. It's a nice side message about different paths and partners giving each other the space to do what they need to do.

The second main has been dating a young woman but it ends by the second episode. He's disparaging against her in his vague comments as to why. Let's up the power dynamic somewhat by making him a bit older, a graduate student, say.

He goes after the central character, who is still vulnerable and hurting after approaching his crush, and charms him into a relationship.

The young woman - in my mind she's very clearly Gigie - tries to warn the central character about the man he's dating. He doesn't want to know but they gradually become friends. We gradually learn more about what happened between the young woman and the 2nd main, who was rewriting reality in the version he told.

Problems arise with the 2nd main: jealousy over the previous crush, with whom the central character is now friends, of his being included in the crush's friend group, and over the central character's friendship with the young woman. The 2nd main can still be charming when he needs to but his possessive and controlling tendencies are slowly coming to the fore. He doesn't want the main to talk with any of them but he's especially interested in separating the main from the young woman. He's in love with him after all, shouldn't he be spending all his free time with him?

Or maybe we should just go unsubtle and repeat some of existing series' problematic behaviours like insisting the shy faen who can't stand the harassment of shippers go to a club full of them. In the frickin 11th episode. Or was it 10? Whichever it was, he didn't care enough to learn and we're supposed to celebrate it all.

Eventually the central character sees through it, helped by his friends. The young woman is clearest in her assessment and criticism of the 2nd main's behaviour, saying what the writers and fans of red flag characters should be saying about these sorts of behaviours and the people who engage in them. We deserve better, as women and as viewers.

The characters we're invested in deserve better too. Maybe that will be easier for some to see than wanting it for themselves or anyone real.

The central character calls the red flag out on his behaviours and ends the relationship. It wasn't easy and he's shaken by it. He phones the young woman who supports him and invites him for the dinner the friends are making together. Let's give a nod to P'Aof and set it on a roof terrace at the end of their hall. The young woman welcomes the main character with a warm hug, followed by one from the former crush. The crush's faen reaches over to welcome the main with trust and no jealousy. All 8 friends gather round a table covered with food. The series ends with the main character having fun and laughing, surrounded by friends.

And because the purpose of this whole imagined endeavour would be not only to model healthy relationships amongst the friends and a good response to a toxic relationship but to get fans talking about it, let's cast it with big name ships. Khaotung-First or Ohm-Nanon for the crush and his faen and two of his friends. Milk and Love for the GL. Mix for the central character (have you worked out why yet?) So Mr Red Flag would be played by Earth.

I'm not in the most generous frame of mind right now, so yes, I am slamming down a gauntlet with that. I'm frustrated and angry and at a loss for how to get fans and writers to even recognise this as a problem, let alone care. It's not like anyone is going to read this.

Would the controversy of that overwhelm any real conversation? Probably, the desire to cling onto known ways is strong. But shipped actors don't cleanse toxic characters of those behaviours. Neither do looks, whether it's a person in your life or actors on the screen. If you're going to put that forward as a desirable relationship at least have the sense and responsibility to make him truly grow out of it.

Please. We all deserve better.

Made the mistake of watching another based on Jittirain. So add Gun and Off to the possibilities. There was "growth" but it all felt like a woman's fantasy of how she'll be the one to change him. Except of course it was a man who does because the women in Theory of Love were just props for the men.